Sunday Comic Section
Hark! Land found for a new jail! (wink, wink)
"Hark! I found land for the new jail and memorial shrine to myself" exclaims one-term
county commissioner Al Ambrosini, as shown smiling in this photograph.
Pictured below, he is shown holding what he claims to be prison designs. We were
unable to confirm that that's exactly what the papers were, since he would not share
with anyone the drawings that he appeared to be holding upside down.
the commissioner that the latest land that he found now for his trillion dollar jail and
memorial shrine to himself is actually located outside Fayette County."
source expressed hope that it won't be necessary.
Explaining, he said that some legislators hell-bent on building an all-new county jail
have plans to introduce legislation to allow Fayette to seize land from nearby Greene
County, under Eminent Domain, for the project.
called "a trivial geographic issue."
the source said that Ambrosini still will not abandon his plight to find land for a new
"There's always Westmoreland County, where everyone knows there's ample
infrastructure already intact," the source said, declining to answer any other
"Don't fret! It will work out, even if we have to seize part of West VIrginia," he said.
|"There are no pyrites here.
Our next geotechnical land
survey will say there are no
persons will continue to loot
the place for copper, certain
other metals and other
objects easily converted to
cash. This will substantially
and more efficiently
decrease the amount of
money we will pay to tear
down the place. "